For the love of Dog! (hehe i'm so clever)

Well its been a while since I posted and I thought I should keep everyone up to date with what is going on. Addie is gone. The house is quite and alone without her presense. But, inevitably life goes on, and so here I am updating what's happened since we lost her.

I turned 20, and it was a fun weekend spent at home. A lot of the time was spent looking at what breed of dog to buy and what puppies to look for. Happily we have found that a Collie would be the perfect breed for us and have set out to look for a new puppy to fill our hearts with joy :)

I want to explain to those of you wondering how we could get over Addie so fast, that its not getting over her. And it isn't replacing her either.
Every time we are at home we feel her missing, and think that she'll come up the stairs or around the corner and plop herself down to sleep in the room. We miss the companionship and unconditional love that only a dog can bring and we even thought of buying another dog while Addie was still alive.

We won't be replacing Addie even if we love this new dog as much as we loved her. They will both have distinct and seperate places in our hearts and neither will replace the other. Its like loving two different people. We have the capacity to love more than one person, and so we have the capacity to love more than one dog :)

The new pup will be most likely be called Io (like Jupiter's moon) and even though I have a few pics of puppies we have been looking at, I'm not going to post any until we find the one we really want. :)

So that's about it..
I love you Addie. We all do :)

The Greatest Dog; The Saddest day.

My dog died today. My amazing, beautiful dog died today. At the age of 9 (she was going to be 10 in December). At 8:45 this morning my older sister came into my room and told me that Addie had died. On the short walk over to the phone to talk to my mom I had already started crying.

She was the sweetest and most unconditionally loving animal one could ask for. She was completely non-judgemental and an amazing companion. Anyone who met her fell in love with her (unless of course she was barking at them..but she was a completely harmless, yet protective doggie). She would get jelous if all attention wasn't always on her and start yapping at you to give her attention. She would lay in the tightest spaces and you'd have to watch out not to hit her when getting up from your chair. She'd jump and run around frantically when you said "are we going for a walk?" (razhodka in Bulgarian). Even at 9 she was a puppy at heart, always pulling and tugging on her leash no matter how many times she'd been outside that day.

I feel really sad. I will never get to look at her again. I will never get to hug her, or talk to her again. She will never again sleep in my room and get me up at 6am. to open the door for her so she could go see my dad. She will never again whine, or even bark when the doorbell rings. She will never get scared of lighting or the fire-detector going off and want to come into my room for protection (from me of all people!!).

We'll never brush her again, and get mad at the amount of hair she could shed. We'll never again tell her off for licking her bum, or her paws when they were bleeding (too much running on pavement, again she wanted to run so much and even that didn't bother her). Never again will she have that cheeky look on her face when she knew she had done something wrong, (which was very rare anyways) when her ears would slump and she'd look at you so sweetly. We'll never play with the hose again, her running around in circles over and over chasing the water; or have snow-ball fights (like those we had in Regina) when she would chase the snow-balls flying accross the yard.

There are so many memories to recall that I can't even begin to imagine writing them all. I miss her so much already and when I go back to Kingston tomorrow it will be made worse. That was her place, her house and she will no-longer be a presence in it.

She has been through so much with us. Through thick and thin, in Regina and in Kingston (and even in Toronto) that its like losing a family member. Her memory will never be erased. She will always be in our thoughts.

I love you Addie, you were the best dog a person could ask for, and I hope your life with us was as happy as our lives were made by you.

Another pic and some random thoughts

A pic of (from left to right) Galeto (my awesome cuzzie) Me, my twin sister Gerri, and the little tiny cutie of cuteness Julian!! (which was taken this weekend after all our awesome haircuts and during the festivities of 2 anniversaries!)


Anyways today was not too eventful. But I would like to talk about something. It has to do with the "high" you get from being liked of from those fleeting moments of liking someone. Is it normal to be that way? I mean just as an example with the hottie at the pub . I looked at him for a brief moment and I thought "wow he is so attractive", after-which I felt the need to keep looking at him and eventually ask him to dance. I mean he is just a random guy at a random pub.

I wonder to myself, is it something that I do to subconsciously keep myself pre-occupied? Is it some weird primal instinct? lol cause when I was with my ex I never had feelings like that. I didn't feel the need to look at other guys, or to constantly try to gain their attention. In fact I was totally content with having his attention and only his :) I do think it would be really easy to settle into a routine like that again, but I just wonder, is my feeling of wanting to be liked coming from me being insecure, or me wanted a man's love again (not so much physically but mentally :P). I guess the only one that can answer that question is me, and since I currently don't have a love interest I shall persevere! :)

But I do wonder if others feel like that on occasion. I love having a crush on someone. You watch for every move, every inclination that that other person might possibly like you. He looks at you and you think "wow he must like me" or you obsess about being with them, and how awesome it would be. :P Seriously though, most of the people I know aren't single, and until recently I wasn't either, so these feelings (which I remember having for a certain someone -- A.) are kind of like a drift down memory lane. Lets hope the next time I have a serious crush it will end better than that one did.. haha :P

Either way I would appreciate comments on these little thoughts of mine hehe! :)

Experiences

Well, I'm back from kingston and wow I had so much fun! We celebrated my parents and my sister's anniversaries, danced, went shopping.. what more can a girl ask for? Especially when she's in the company of a cousin, sisters, parents, aunt and uncle, LITTLE BABY, and friends! :) Man do I ever love dancing? hah I mean we danced at home on Fri. and that was awesome cause if u know my parents, you know that there will be dancing at my house! aha good dancing, to good dance songs! :) We all (Gerri, Galeto, and I) got haircuts and then the next day my cousie and I went to the mall and I got me a nice shirt, shoes, some earrings and bracelets and we went out to dance that night away! :)

That is where things went a little.. well weird.. :P First of all there was a really really attractive guy who I kept looking at and everyone was telling me to go ask to dance. So I went, and he said "maybe later" lol.. but he sounded really nice and looked pretty shy. Also he was from Montreal cause he had an accent so I'm not tooooo upset about that. Then, my ex, his brother and their regular "posse" showed up (cause there is like 1 place to go in kingston to dance..) Either way he came to say hi and I said "hi, sorry I don't really want to talk to you" and he left and that was that! :) I mean I kinda expected all the feelings about him to come rushing back when I saw him.. but they really didn't! lol (so that's good) :P

Later on in the night another guy (KINDA cute, short and blond) came to dance with me, and we talked a bit.. he's in nursing :P Then he left and a bit later another guy came to dance with me (smoker and not really my type but oh well..) lol anyways I spent the rest of the night dancing with him and my cousie so that was fun! :) Found out that he was the manager of Futureshop in kingston... oooo.. hehe I didn't give him my phone number or anything cause he just assumed that I didn't have one in kingston (since i told him i was living in TO) and I didn't say that I did in fact have one :P
Either way there go at least SOME of my inhibitions! I mean

1.) I asked a hottie to dance (even tho I got shot down) :P
2.) I danced with two "relatively" hot guys.. (lets just say that I could see other people thinking they are hot.. not so much me tho.. :P)
3.) I kissed the second guy goodbye (just a tiny peck, but still its something if you know me!)

And no this doesn't mean that I'm a slut now, I am just trying to be less inhibited :) And I think its working.. lol I didn't feel attracted to either of the two guys I danced with, but then again I'm not looking for anyone at the moment, and I'm definitely looking for someone who's in University, or out of uni. with a steady (good) job. I want someone who I've been friends with for a while, and someone who I admire and respect (to build that up takes longer than one dance.. no duh :P). Let's just say that my ideal place for meeting guys doesn't include a bar, club, pub or any place like that, but that places like that have a tendency of boosting your self-confidence! hah :)

Either way I had lots of fun and danced a lot and now I'm a little bit sad cause everyone went home and I have to work tomorrow! Damn it guys come to TO again and lets hang out!!!!!!! lol :P
(oh and Gale, you need to get your ass to Canada more often! and don't forget to look at yourself in the mirror, its very important, especially since you are so hot!! :) )
hehe and that's about it for me! :P

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Have you ever found yourself losing TOTAL respect for your manager? I just did. It wasn't like he said one thing that made this happen. For the past weeks he's been taking me for granted (e.g. making me work extra hours on days I was supposed to have off, having me come early when I wasn't supposed to, and making me stay and clean the store after store hours without pay). Yesterday I felt the brunt of it since he got in a minor argument with this girl (Nicole) and sent her home, and for the rest of the day (Canada day = which almost everyone gets off and goes shopping!) it was only 3 of us working. Talk about decency. I'm sorry you and her don't get along, but did he not notice that we NEEDED her in order to deal with all of the customers? So suck it up loser! lol :P To make it worse, he said ealier today that another Softmoc store beat us for business yesterday and then blamed it on Nicole leaving early... argh those are some of my job frustrations. I hate that guy with a passion and I really can't believe I have to put up with his crap for another 2 months!

Oh and he feels the need to tell me every time he thinks a woman is attractive who walks into the store, or whether she has "sweet, sweet, sweet stuff" refering to her breasts! And he puts down my co-workers (Ana and Nicole) in front of me! Why? I don't know. Its not like i'm senior management or anything. I am just the same as them and he is telling me things they are doing wrong and why he thinks they are lazy. Basically he is just a big unprofessional loser and I can't believe I am devoting so much of my blog to a person who doesn't deserve it. I do think this rant was necessary for my sanity though!!! :P

At least Canada day at the beaches was fun! We went to dinner (had amazing ribs), followed by a small pub (where I tried a rather nasty beer that was supposed to taste like chocolate, but ended up tasting like flowers). Then we went to the actual beach and watched the fire-works! :) Julian was rather excited about those, staring straight at them and probably wondering what the hell they were! heh. The only downside to yesterday was that it got chilly outside and its still pretty cold today, but oh well that'll go away soon! :)

Also yesterday would have been my 2 year anniversary with my ex had we still been together. The weird thing is that our first "date" was in Totonto watching the fireworks on the beach. I was a little sad in the morning when going to work, but it wasn't sadness over our relationship ending. It was more nostalgia about what had happened (BBQ, fireworks, butterflies in the tummy :P ) as opposed to longing for it to happen again with him. I know that I will go see fireworks again some time with a guy I love and I will not even have one thought of my ex (cause I am rarely having thoughts about him now :P) and it will be great!

Now to totally swtich the subject:
Don't u love it when you pick up a book and its so good that you just can't put it down? Maybe its the fact that my last book "The Red Queen" was totally biology related and lacking a plot, but I immediately got into this one! It is awesome.. now I just can't put it down, so on my way to and from work I read it, listen to Amethystium on my ipoddy, and basically forget about this world :) Such a good feeling! hehe well guess what? I'm off to read my book!
Talk to you later everyone! :)